tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27491069.post114919283673702689..comments2023-02-10T09:23:46.778-05:00Comments on Everyone Deserves the Chance to Fly: The pre-missionary lookMarenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13966671147913653475noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27491069.post-1158776749908475082006-09-20T14:25:00.000-04:002006-09-20T14:25:00.000-04:00Hi there. I found you through a comment on FMH. Y...Hi there. I found you through a comment on FMH. Your name stood out for me because one of my best friends is named Maren, and I'd never heard of anyone else with that name. She lives in Queens NY, and so you had that in common too. She grew up in the Avenues in SLC though...so maybe it's a more common name in Utah.<BR/><BR/>Anyway. That's not really why I decided to write. I just moved from Vermont, where we were the only Mormons in our town, to SLC this summer. I have never lived here before, and yes, everyone here IS blond! And pregnant. And stylin' in that "Utah kind of way". I'd noticed that in the past when I've been here. But it doesn't bother me. I try to remember not to equate anything about anyone with their worth and value/specialness (not a word, but seems appropriate here in Utah! :-)) <BR/><BR/>You talked about being the same. I remember in HS trying so hard to figure out how to fit in. And yes, I thought the answer lay in looking like, talking like, being like the people who seemed to "have it all". They were popular, seemed confident, and like they knew what they wanted. I never did manage to fit in...and have wrestled for most of my life, until the very last year or two, to find my footing and find peace just being me. Looking like me. Living in my house. Liking my wardrobe. Appreciating my talents. Driving my car. Not coveting what I don't have. Being different. "Owning" myself. <BR/><BR/>This happened in a small way...finally! I have a little girl and she has ZERO fashion sense. A couple years ago when she was 7 years old, a friend was visiting me and my daughter came in the room wearing some zany combination of clothing, and she said "does this match?" Before I could answer her, my friend said "honey, if you own it, you can wear it. You can wear anything, as long as you own it." <BR/><BR/>And those simple words struck a chord. I thought, "I could apply this all over my life. To my house. My furnishings. My clothes, hair, face, relationships, feelings." There is no end to the number of ways that I needed to just "own" my life. <BR/><BR/>And I've started to. I don't have as cute a home, or as fancy a car, or as big an income, or as many resources as I have in the past (we moved here for my DH to attend medical school). Most of my friends (I'm in my upper 30's) are at a stage of life where they are pretty well established, but we're just starting over. So there's no way to compete. And it's a good thing I'm not even trying to because that would result in frustration neverending. <BR/><BR/>I don't know why it took nearly 30 years for me to finally get to the point where I was happy with my life. Some people desperately want to fit in. Some people desperately want to stand out. Two sides of the same coin as far as I can tell. Fact is, we are all absolutely irreplaceably precious. And none of this stuff matters any way. You can dress NY Chic (I fly to NY several times a month...you're right, it's different!), or wear the "Utah Special" attire, and it doesn't mean anything. <BR/><BR/>I guess what I'm trying to say is, you may not stand out in a crowd physically. But you have (as is apparent from your posts, a few of which I just read) a great-heartedness about you. And you use your mind to good effect. And you have talents that you are willing to share (piano. lucky!) and it doesn't matter if you could say the same things about a zillion other people...you still matter in a way no one else does. To your family and friends. To your blogasphere connections. To that little bunchkin you're haulin' around right now. And making peace with that is priceless. And then it's easier to appreciate all the other people with all their "sameness" for the unique individuals they are. <BR/><BR/>At least that's what I've been experiencing, and so I thought I'd share it with you.<BR/><BR/>Best of luck to you. The hormones do whack you silly some days. Hang in there and take lots of guilt-free naps!<BR/>~BlueAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27491069.post-1149368695363006572006-06-03T17:04:00.000-04:002006-06-03T17:04:00.000-04:00I have a perfectly grand solution for you my dear....I have a perfectly grand solution for you my dear. Move to Denver! ;) hehehe I wish!Chrissy Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13843048333521275209noreply@blogger.com